I have a fear of the deep. It’s not an irrational fear. It’s a fear that causes hesitation. It’s a fear of being unraveled and exposed, laid bare and known. People that know me, only know me to a certain depth and trust plays a key role in how deeply anyone can go. I think that comes from childhood and has become intensified by trauma. I tend to live in the shallow places, where only small parts of who I am are visible. It’s safer there…there’s always a quick escape. It’s easier to have a life full of casual acquaintances than to have deep meaningful relationships. The deep with both people and God requires investment unlike the shallow that costs nothing at all. I would rather not be seen, and I would rather not be heard or known. There’s only one problem with all of this. It’s not Christ like.