By April Brown
Alright I say to myself…. This is it. Take a deep breath. The lights are on, the camera is ready to roll and it is time to perform.
I have practiced over and over and I am ready! But wait…. What if I fail? What if I mess up and forget my moves? What if I say or do something wrong? And what if….. What if they don’t like me????
No! I have got to do it now or I am really gonna look bad. So here goes!
I am on the stage. And I am dancing with EVERYTHING I’ve got. I am fighting to ignore the people and just get through my dance. I am so hoping it will end with thunderous applause….
And it does happen! I get all that I am wanting from the crowd. I skip happily off of the stage. I go into my dressing room and there it is waiting. Hiding in the darkness. The voice that says, “HA! Are you kidding?! That was terrible! They don’t like you. Did you see their faces? They were just being kind. That was the worst. But hey now…. That one that went before you? She was great! As a matter of fact, she was perfect.”
As I listen, this voice tells me more and more about how I don’t measure up. And I shrink back in despair until its time to dance again.
I have spent so much of my life in this performance mode. Trying to please people, please God and to prove to myself that I am worth something…. Anything….
Trying desperately to prove the voice wrong. But the only problem was that I believed the voice of the hater of my soul. He needed me to listen. He needed me to believe what he said. He needed me to compare myself with others. There was no other way he could distort the beauty of my dance.
But then suddenly….. Bursting through the door, like a flood of love, comes my Prince of Peace. The Voice of Truth. He silences the voice of my accuser, making him watch as He prepares a banquet of love, joy and adoration before me.
He is the one who clothes me in robes of righteousness. He adorns us both for our meeting together. For I am His…… And He is mine…….
He reminds me that the dance is never meant for me, or for the crown. It was meant for Him. The Lover of My Soul. It was meant to reflect the Majesty of Him who created me for His glory. It was meant to express my pure delight in Him as my Father. The beautiful love He has for me. It causes my heart to soar! And I live totally abandoned to Him. No longer in performance mode, but in His grace. For His pleasure…. Knowing that He delights in me. I not only have His applause, I have His smile.
So dance Daughter of God! Your audience of One awaits……..